Stacey's guide to being successful in a new place

I first wrote this post while sitting in a coffee shop after moving back to the city where I did my undergraduate degree. It all happened so fast, that it was one of the last things I wrote for my blog before a three-month hiatus while I adjusted to the new position and all the chaos that came with it - but that is for anther post on another day...

For now, enjoy this non-extensive list of things that can help you be successful in a new place!

1. Find your spot

To me, this the first and most important thing for me to do when I am in a new place. Regardless of whether I will be in that place for two weeks, two months, two years, or and undetermined length of time, it’s my first goal. For me, it usually ends up being a local coffee shop that has good hours and even better coffee. A good selection of treats at a reasonable price are what rounds out my requirements.

But why do you need a spot Stacey?

Well, I am glad you asked. 

For me, my spot is where I go.

Go when I want to study the bible or read.

Where I go to write.

To get a change of scenery when I’ve been binge watching too hard and too early on a Saturday. 

It’s the place I feel comfortable, inspired, calm.

It’s like a sanctuary for me.

For some people, it’s a good gym. A place where they feel comfortable to work out and challenge themselves. Somewhere they feel that they can thrive and strain and achieve. For my brother, it’s a good comic/game shop. A place where his creativity and ingenuity is welcomed and celebrated. A place that he can be challenge to put his big fat brain to use in ways that I just don’t understand. 

2. Find your people

A major buzzword that has been around for the last 10 years is community (the more common term "tribe" has been used much more frequently, but I am a believer in being sensitive to cultural appropriation, so I will not be using it here). It is the place where you belong because you are with like-minded people. Whether that is politics, religion, interests, values, it doesn’t matter. There is one things that brings the whole group together despite diverging in basically every other area. 

This is important because God designed us to be in community. Fellowship is the Christianese word for community, and it is one of the four tenants of the gathering of the early church (Prayer, Teaching, Fellowship, & Communion)

But how do I do that when I don’t know anyone yet?

Another excellent question! 

You have to be brave and go places where you are probably going to be painfully uncomfortable, looking from the outside in for a time. And that’s okay. It’s inevitable. So embrace it and practice positive self talk.

When I know that I am going to be somewhere new for a time, I always look up a church to attend - the more local the better. I personally try to stick with my denomination as that is what I am most comfortable with. Also, it makes it more likely that new people I meet will know people that I know!

I commit myself to going the very first Sunday that I am there and connecting with a Pastor, even offering to help in some way - usually youth. This helps me gain acquaintances, if not good friends within a short period of time. Because we value the same things, there is an inherent level of trust and vulnerability from the beginning. I don’t have to worry about what they think of certain things, or how they will treat me when they find out that I am a Christian. I can also rest well knowing that the way they speak about others and the things they consume will be good, therefore being a good influence on me. At least, in theory. I know that no one is perfect, especially in the church, so I make sure to have an extra heaping of grace ready to extend to the new people that I meet. (This does not cover incorrect theology FYI. If/when that happens, I bolt).

3. Decide to try/start something 

This time around, I am going to try to hit the gym on a regular basis. It will help that I am working in the athletics department, which means being fit is a part of the culture. It also helps that I will get a free fitness pass!

Notice that this is also something done in community. No, that does not mean that I have to join a fitness class or get a trainer, but that isn’t ruled out either.

The goal is to be committed to a few things that keeps you from being isolated. The goal, really, is to be along for the hours that I am getting ready for bed, sleeping, and getting ready for the next day. Otherwise, I lay around and watch an excessive amount of tv which is a recipe for disaster in my personal experience. 

For those of you who are introverts, I am sorry I pooped all over your parade. And, I’ll admit, this plan may not work for you. But at the same time, it just might. We all need a healthy dose of human contact everyday, no matter how much this might terrify you. 

Let me put it this way: our comfort zones are not static - they expand and shrink depending on how much you interact with it’s limits. Just like a muscle, the more you use it the bigger it gets. The reverse is true; the less you use it, the weaker and smaller it gets, risking atrophy (read: complete isolation).

In the end, you have to decide what success in a new place looks like for you. For me, it means enjoying my time, growing, building new relationships, and learning more about myself and just how much I am capable of.

What does succeeding in a new place look like for you?

Until next time friends!

xoxo

-S